“I do my best thinking at night when everyone else is sleeping. No interruptions. No noise. I like the feeling of being awake when no one else is.” - Jennifer Niven

This is certainly me. I'd like to think that it's because at night I can get uninterrupted time to do interesting things. But if I'm being truly honest with myself, It's because I want selfish time for myself. Throughout the day I give my time freely to others, making sure to spend time with the kids, and spending dedicated time with Julianne as well. I take this extra time at night for myself to relax.

Today was a day of relaxation. I played Minecraft with the boys, tinkered with our ice maker to see If i could figure out what was wrong, and played good games with good friends. I also got a chance to play 21 holes of disc golf right after at the Hidden Valley Park course with one of my good friends. I won't mention his name here because I haven't asked permission. Some may sneer at it being a "Beginner's course" but honestly, I'm an amateur on my best days. It was a welcome change in pace to be basically on par the whole time. Plus that park has had some serious improvements made and it is really cool to see it have a covered gathering place, recycling and trash bins, a walking path, etc. The first time I saw this park 4 years ago it was basically just a field.

Today I learned a lot from the Big Think channel on youtube. One thing that struck a chord with me is the assertion that we as Americans tend to be more critical of duplicity from a female than from a male. If I examine my own reactions to things in the past, it rings true. As a middle class caucasian male it's easy to be ignorant of the subconscious bias, because I'm rarely forced to confront many of the biases that exist consciously. Whereas I believe that someone who is on the receiving end of that bias has to confront it consciously and becomes sensitive to it. All I think I can do about it is to try to be more conscious about my biases.

I think that this is a large problem for humans in general because it takes a lot of focus and energy to really do deep, honest introspection. I think being truly honest in introspection is very rewarding, but it's very hard because we all want to feel justified in our actions and first thoughts. I have been consciously trying to be honestly introspective with myself only for a few years, and I think only recently have I gotten a primate self understanding of how to do it.